by B.B. Pelletier
Just a reminder that the “Shooting the breeze” series is meant as humor. I made up everything just to entertain you. All names, businesses and locations are fictitious. Enjoy!
The Billabong Air Gun Company announced today a departure from wasteful manufacturing practices of the past. After years-long search for a less costly material to replace the expensive synthetics and plastics now used in airguns, the company believes they have found at least a partial answer in paper. That’s right–paper!
Billabong production engineers propose to begin manufacture of a brand new design of CO2 rifle targeted at their brisk discount store trade. Many of the structural components will be made from a proprietary paper-based product that company researches say is as strong and workable as plastic. Parts like valve bodies and receivers, once made of costly resin-based materials, can now be fabricated from what is essentially a modern derivative of that old grade-school favorite–paper mache. Where additional strength is required, the parts will be lined with inexpensive stamped foil sleeves and reinforcements; but the structural members will be entirely comprised of the remarkable new cellulose material. “Our new paper buttstocks are virtually indistinguishable from genuine plastic,” company officials reported. “They even warp and separate in warm weather–just like the real thing! Kids won’t be able to tell the difference.”