by Tom Gaylord, a.k.a. B.B. Pelletier
“Shirley, you jest!”
No, I don’t — and don’t call me Shirley.
Back in the 1960s, when gadgets ruled the day and turnpike tolls were paid with coins instead of folding money (or by simply attaching your bank account to the state treasury via an electronic snitch), there was a way cool thing called a Turnpike Toll Gun that shot coins into the hopper at the toll booth. Yes, I said shot.
If such things existed today and teachers used them, they’d be tackled by the security guards at their school when they passed through the metal detector — at least in states along the Eastern Seaboard. In Texas, several communities are requiring some of their teachers to be armed and to take special defense classes as an added measure of school safety. So, their toll booth guns would not be confiscated. In fact, they would probably be belt-fed!