A Special Report

by B.B. Pelletier

A couple of new products were announced late this past Friday and are so revolutionary that I couldn’t wait until Monday to report. So, just this week you get one extra report

The Field Adaptive Reactionary Training pellet
Agro Industries of California announced a joint venture with the U.S. Department of Defense that has resulted in a remarkable new kind of airgun projectile that’s approved for use at very close ranges and becomes harmless the farther it flies. The new projectile is a liquid with some of the properties of a solid and is based on the properties of non-Newtonian fluids (specifically Oobleck fluids) that become rigid when subjected to sudden external pressure.

The “projectile” is loaded as a liquid into a special reservoir on the gun and is manually injected into the breech just before firing. The force of the air blast from a conventional spring-piston powerplant turns the proprietary blend of ingredients into a solid that retains its integrity for approximately 34.3 feet when fired from a .177-caliber air rifle at 985 f.p.s. Because it’s a solid during this time, it takes the rifling and spins in the same way as a pellet, though the projectile is much lighter than lead. A low-powered air rifle like an Air Venturi Bronco can easily push the 2.9-grain pellet to the optimum velocity.

The manufacturer refuses to disclose the exact mixture of the projectile, though they do admit that at least half of it is comprised of the pink slime that the California State Board of Education has been lobbying the FDA to approve for use in school lunches. The rest of the contents remain undisclosed and are contractually protected from a FOIA, but the manufacturer assures the public that they’re nutritionally neutral. The contents of the projectiles are therefore considered safe to eat.

The pellets can be used for target shooting to 10 meters, where they punch perfect round holes in paper targets. Two feet past the target the pellets liquify in flight, making it unnecessary to use a backstop of any kind. A “splash zone” of approximately eight feet past the liquification barrier (LB) necessitates the use of a drop cloth behind the target holder and on the wall if it is closer than eight feet from the back of the target.

Marksmanship coaches are not pleased with the accuracy of the new projectile, which seems to be in the range of three inches for five shots at 10 meters, but California educators have responded that the problem could easily be resolved by simply making the targets larger. This approach has worked in the past for modifying standardized scholastic tests, and they are confident the principle can be successfully applied to target shooting, as well.

The vacuum gun
Apparently, last Friday was a special day for airgun advancements, because the North Korean firm of Airgun Factory Number 12 announced a breakthrough in powerplant technology — the vacuum gun. Instead of putting pressurized air or gas behind a projectile, the North Korean gun puts a hard vacuum in front of it. The pellet isn’t blown out the muzzle, it’s sucked out!

The vacuum gun, called Peace Over Safety, has the advantage of cocking with near-zero resistance. There’s nothing to compress, so there’s no resistance when the breech is rotated open for loading. And the vacuum chamber located under the barrel weighs relatively little since there’s nothing inside. So the 4.5mm gun is lightweight and self-contained.

The overall length is 43 inches and the gun weighs 6.5 lbs. without sights. The trigger is called a “super fantastic number ten world finest lever-breaking unit” that the hopeful European Union importer has translated to a mean a target trigger.

The gun comes with a special high-vacuum pump that’s used to evacuate the gun’s vacuum chamber before every shot.

Preliminary tests show the gun achieving velocities of 271 f.p.s. with the special PTFE projectiles supplied by the company. While these pellets won’t break regular target paper, the manufacturer ships each gun with 100 of their own targets printed on special rice paper. A cardboard target holder made from the interior parts of the gun’s shipping container holds each target securely.

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea official making the announcement of the new gun told the press at Friday’s unveiling that “… the Peace Over Safety gun really sucks!

Predictive targets (PT)
The California Board of Education has given tacit approval to Junior ROTC programs in state-funded schools to resume competitive target shooting programs if they agree to use the new predictive targets (PT) supplied by the state. The targets use onboard computer technology to predict where a shooter’s projectile will strike and relay that information back to a monitor at the shooter’s position. No shots need to be fired for this technology to function, nor do the guns need any special technology to work with the targets. In fact, in a public demonstration just two weeks earlier, the shooters were all equipped with special blue resin non-guns that are used by police for training purposes. These “guns” have the outer shape of firearms but are solid resin and contain no working parts. A spokeswoman for the board of education told the press after the demonstration that these is no reason the “guns” cannot be made in rainbow colors to appear even less threatening.

Several marksmanship groups have criticized the targets for displaying hits when no gun was used. In one demonstration a coach simply shaped his hand like a mock gun and achieved three “hits” on the target in rapid succession. For that reason, the NRA wanted the targets to be subjected to further development, but the board of education countered by noting that no one is allowed to shape their hand like a gun on any California state campus. Thus the complaint is null and void.

An unnamed senior board member stated that “PT” is going to become a staple of California’s new marksmanship philosophy.

Pyramyd Air bows to public pressure and changes spelling of its name
Pyramyd Air has finally bowed to ongoing public pressure regarding the spelling of its name.

The company was started by Joshua Ungier almost 20 years ago, and the unique spelling of the name was never a problem until the advent of the internet. Often times, prospective customers couldn’t find Pyramyd Air’s website because it had too many Y’s in it. This led some to seek out other retailers with domain names they could actually spell.

Beginning April 1, the company’s name will have only one “Y” in it and will be known as Piramid Ayr. While the website logo has already been changed, the domain name and other changes on the site will transition to the new spelling over the next 30 days.

The company offers a 5% discount coupon code to customers who email them with a bug or incorrect information on their retail site. President Val Gamerman stated, “We receive a significant number of emails from customers seeking a discount code for pointing out that our name has too many Y’s in it. The employees who respond to these emails were demoralized from the burden of answering them, so changing the spelling was the path of least resistance.”

Here’s the new banner we’re using to promote this change:

29 thoughts on “A Special Report”

  1. Great new products this month!

    The reactive targets could really save a lot of money, once the targets, computers, and monitors were paid for. No pellets to buy ever, and no wear on the gun.

    My grandson Nicky has a shooting game that works that way. He shoots at deer, ducks, etc. on a TV with a laser gun. Pretty quiet and he never shoots holes in the wall that way.


  2. “the vacuum gun”…good one, Tom. Very inventive.

    Did you ever see that old Charlie Chan movie, where the bad guy kills by shooting his victim with a bullet made of ice? The victim dies and the ice bullet melts, leaving no forensic evidence behind. When I got older, I always wondered why the gunpowder didn’t blow the bullet into tiny, ineffectual ice shards.

  3. Ha! The real joke is I started reading the comments (pre coffee) and didn’t realize there was a “special report”! I was “what? (sip coffee) huh? (sip) scroll up, scroll up, Ah! special report!”

    I love the vacuum gun and the reactive target stuff!


  4. Edith should be thrilled with this announcement. Never again will she have to reject customer evaluations that read, “I mean like, y’know, u sold me crap my vakum gun really sucks, like, y’know?” Now she can reply with a simple “Yup. You’re right, it does.”

  5. Somehow I doubt the pump from my VacuVin wine stoppers will be sufficient to prepare the PoS. But, OTOH, the PoS might be useful in cleaning up the atmospheric residue of the F.A.R.T pellets.

    As for the overall report — you can see why I chose to spend $20K of severance pay to move to MI… The report is quite accurate with regards to the Peoples Republic of California.

    NASA has been using a vacuum gun for decades… https://rt.grc.nasa.gov/main/rlc/ballistic-impact-laboratory/

    • Wulfraed,

      Now, those are some airguns! Up to 3000 fps! Up to 16″ bore! A bit much to handle in the field without a truck, but I think they are pretty much the kings of the “I’ve got the biggest, baddest airgun in the world” contest… 🙂


  6. I have a question about the F.A.R.T. Personally I think the whole idea stinks, but…if the liquid solidifies upon external pressure, like the force of an air blast, wouldn’t it also re-solidify from the external pressure of hitting an object, like the drop cloth, and penetrating it?

    • I think they’re too expensive for me 🙁
      But I’d love to get at least one set. How are they authenticated? I can see reproductions of the original cans being marketed in large quantity in coming years. I’ll sell mine, I’ll only give them a try, one or two shots and they’ll be going back in the original package.


    • These are nice looking cans but I would like to see them come in a Walnut box. Also, they were difficult to open. I’ve had Chinese Snapple cans that opened easier than these. I can’t wait until these come out in a 16 or 32 oz version. As 12 oz cans they were a bit oversized and I couldn’t fit them into the cozy without a lot of pressure. Perhaps if they could come with a cozy seating tool.

  7. I love the way PiramidAyr goes out of it’s way to pull a april fools joke, I received the promo emails this morning, the special report, the new logo on the main page. I think it’s awesome, it shows how much the company cares about it’s customers and how good a relationship we have.


  8. Please don’t change you’re name! I have many book marks with the old URL. I mean like 30-40 bookmarks!
    Will the old URLs still work with my old bookmarks? If not. can you still use the name pyramyd air in you’re search bar and get to the new web site? Thanks.

    P.S. I am the one who asked you about you’re silver dime in you’re last revolver blog.
    Keep up the blogs! And when will you do another podcast?

  9. Wow. This is fantastic news. Those North Koreans really know how to invent. I’m gonna hold out buying a TX 200 for now, and wait until Air Arms applies this “vacuum” technology to the TX. Thanks for the heads up B.B.

  10. Just more evidence that you two throughly enjoy and spend too much time prepping for this day. You’re twisted. I like that.

    PT in CA is not far fetched and quite believable though. Sigh.


  11. I’m not entirely sure i believe this report. Vacuum guns and liquid pellets sounds a bit insane. The predictive targets sound about like something california would do and a dream of the anti gun movement in america though. In all these things all sound like something out of one of my nightmares.

  12. Let’s see, some people have made vacuum guns that shoot tennis balls. Very low velocity, but use a partial vacuum from a shop vac instead of a true vacuum from a vacuum pump.
    Even knowing that theis is an April first joke, the California computer targets one sounds exactly like something this state would do.

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